I'm feeling unmotivated. I've accomplished a lot. I know that. I am still exercising 6 days a week, for the most part, and enjoying it. Exercise is not my problem (except for pain limitations and coinciding boring routine), food is.
I don't want to cook anything. It used to be that when I thought about cooking dinner, I got energized. I liked the idea of making healthy meals. But now? I don't know. I'm finding it difficult to muster enthusiasm. I still cook most of my meals, but I also often scrounge a meal. Some fruit, a piece of cheese, a few bites of leftovers, a slice of ham. I am not committed to making an entire meal.
Maybe I'm depressed. I am sad these days, but I didn't think it was affecting my eating patterns. But now that I think about it, maybe it is. I feel lost. As if time is passing by without me. I'm that blurry figure in the movies that is standing still while everything and everyone else whizzes by.
I've lost 40 pounds. It's a good start. My body looks better. Clothes fit better. But psychologically I have not adjusted to the weight loss. My fat girl mentality persists.
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