Day 304 - Quiche

In an effort to break away from cooking/baking boredom, I made quiche on Saturday.  Sure, it's rich, but if I couple it with a salad, is it all that bad?  Well, apparantly it is all....that....bad. 

After eating a slice, I decided to calculate the calorie count of 1/4 of the quiche.  Now keep in mind that it's a 8.5 inch tart, not a pie, and there isn't a whole lot of filling, so 1/4 slice is a moderate size.  Certainly not large by any means. 

Unfortunately moderate in size doesn't mean moderate in calories.  I calculated that one slice of bacon arugula quiche has a whopping 750 calories.  Who knew?

What I don't understand is that I am hungry 3 or 4 hours after eating a slice.  I had a 1/6 slice for breakfast, which I calculate to be about 500 calories, as well as an orange, and I'm already hungry.  It's only been two hours!

What's up with that?  Is it possible that I overcalculated the calories?

Nevertheless, I will not be making quiche again.  I'll stick to milk-based crustless but still good fritatta. 

On a positive note, the only sugar I had yesterday was a couple of bites of chocolate.  I did well overall, taking in about 1800 calories.  Still need to drink more water. 

Day 303 - 9 Weeks Left

There are 9 weeks left in 2011.  With the exception of Thanksgiving Day and Christmas festivities, I plan to make the best out of the 9 weeks remaining.  I have been whining and complaining about my hip pain for 6 months now.  As a result of this whining, I have gained 10 pounds.  I should be ashamed. 

I AM ashamed. 

Bottom line is that I can still lose weight with an injury.  My exercise may be limited, but my dieting is not.  If I eat healthy, low carbohydrate meals, avoid sugar, and drink lots of water each and every day, I will lose weight.

I recorded my food intake yesterday.  Of course I had all the best intentions, but in the end, I gave in to temptation....again.   I'm estimating my total caloric intake was 1800-1900, but that included cheetos, mini chocolates, a few candy dots, and vanilla ice cream.  I took a 30 minute TRX class, walked for 20, and swam laps for 25 minutes, so I don't think I gained, but I certainly didn't lose. 

This morning I threw away the bag of cheetos.  Why was that so hard?  I like cheetos at first, like any other junk food.  They taste good.  But then, all I taste is salt.  Even as I am eating them, I am thinking about how they don't taste good anymore.  It's as if I keep eating them in an effort to get back that initial "yum."  But it never happens.  I finally stop, and then I feel guilty.  After that, the thirst kicks in from all that salt.  I don't want to even think about the fat.

If I lose 2 lbs a week for the next 9 weeks, minus 2 pounds for the holidays, then that's a total loss of 16 lbs by January 1, 2012.  Considering the 10 I've regained, that would put me at 46 lb lost for the year.

Not my best year ever, but 46, or even 36, is better than nothing.   

The Anti-Christ

Day 290 - Ugh

I have been avoiding my blog.  I did so well for the first 5 months of the year, but the last 3 or 4 have been bleak.  I've re-gained some of the 40 lbs I lost.  Not sure how many, but I'm guessing between 5-10.

That said, I want to be losing again.  I want to feel energetic and light.  I want to avoid simple, refined carbohydrates and all white foods.  I want to go to bed knowing I had a healthy day of eating and exercising and look forward to the same thing the next day.  But the reality is, I am in pain.  Not all the time.  Not when I'm sitting at my desk, but when I'm up and about, pain is constant.  Most of the time it's a general ache in my hip that reminds me to sit down every once in a while and recover.  But when I'm walking or exercising, the pain wears me out.  Reminds me that I have an injury that is holding me back. 

I am bored with  my exercise and the limitiations of my injury.  I feel  a little defeated.  I am disappointed in myself for falling of the wagon with my diet.  Just because I can't workout like I used to, doesn't mean I can't eat for weight loss. 

So here I am again on day 290.  I will not get fit this year, but I will be fitter at the start of 2012 than I was at the start of 2011.  And I will weigh less.  I guess that's what matters. 

I have approximately 10 weeks left in the year.  That's enough time to lose 10-20 lbs. 

I am tired already.

Day What?

I've lost count of the days.  The past two months have not been good, at least not on the fitness/weight loss front.  I have backed way off the exercise in a attempt to heal my sacroilliac dysfunction.  But I have now come to the conclusion that the dysfunction is really only made worse by bad form, wrong type of core work, boxing, and walking.  So I've started to ramp up the exercise again.  Still limited by what I can do, but there's enough of what I can do to keep it interesting....I hope. 

I haven't lost any weight since June.  That's okay.  It is what it is.  I may have gained a couple of pounds, but I don't think so.  Afterall, it's not like I stopped exercising altogether.  I would guess that on average I've been putting in 2-3 hours a week of exercise (swimming, strength training, short walks, physical therapy, biking). 

My sugar habit has been re-established, which is a drag.  Breaking the refined carb and sugar habit is not easy.  I have to do it again.  Not looking foward to the three days of withdrawals. 

Day 219 - Back on Track

My sacroilliac dysfunction is getting better, albeit very slowly.  I cleaned house for a couple of hours Friday morning, did my physical therapy exercises, went for a 30min swim, and felt fine all day.  Yesterday I worked out for over an hour, and I didn't hurt last night.  So things are looking up. 

It's been difficult not being able to exercise as much as I had been since the first of the year.  Consequently my diet suffered.  I have eaten sweets almost daily.  I'm hoping I've maintained my weight loss, but it's possible I've gained a couple of pounds back. 

I think I can increase my exercise up to 6 hours a week for this month.  I'm still limited by what I can do.

Going to Vegas in 4 weeks, and am hoping I'll be okay being on my feet and walking for a hour or two at a time.  If not, we'll be taking sit breaks....at the video poker machines. 

Day 203 - Physical Therapy

I have been ordered by my doctor/physical therapist to take a week off.  No biking.  No swimming.  No strength training.  He has given me a dozen or so exercises for isolating and stretching my sacroilliac joint and instructed me to do them at least once a day every day.  So far I'm on track for every other day. 

I am dying for a swim.  It has been hot hot hot, and I miss the cool respite of the pool.  I might break the rules tomorrow and do some laps. 

My hip hurts.  The pain has spread out, and now it hurts even while sitting.  I guess this is a good thing, but I'm not sure.  It hurts more after the physical therapy exercises, and the next day, the pain radiates out from the joint. 

I am concerned that I will never be pain free again.  That this hip pain will derail my weight loss and fitness efforts.  I am trying to stay positive, but it is difficult. 

Day 195 - Sacroilliac (Pain in the Butt)

After months of pain, 3 trips to the chiropractor, 4 massages, and lots of biking and swimming, I finally have a correct diagnosis.  I have sacroilliac joint pain caused, apparantly, from poor posture, quadricep dominance, and I don't really know what else.  Important thing is now I know what is going on and have a plan for fixing it. 

I met with a chiropractor at the swim and tennis club yesterday.  He spent well over an hour poking, prodding, stretching, and bending me until my sacroilliac had been moved in every direction possible.  Today I am sore.  But it's a good sore.  It's a pain before healing sort of sore.  I left with about half a dozen stretching exercises and an appointment for next Monday.  He wants me to limit myself to biking and swimming this week (as usual) and then next week we'll start working in some controlled strength training moves.  The stretches he gave me work both the sacroilliac and my core, particularly my lower abs. 

So I don't have sciatica after all.  Guess that's a good thing. 

Day 194 - Better

I have considered deleting yesterday's post, or at least editing out some of the melancholy, but no one reads this blog anyway, so might as well leave it in.  It is how I felt yesterday.  Today I am better.

Concerned by my lack of interest in cooking and other things, I forced myself to make a healthy dinner last night - stir fry beef with lots of veggies and a small amount of wild rice mix.  This morning I made veggie strata that I will cook tonight for dinner.  I made chili chicken soup earlier in the week, so leftovers of these three dishes will feed me for the rest of the week.  I won't have to do much more than cut up fruit and wash dishes.

Is it middle age that is keeping my waist larger than usual?  I have lost more inches in my hips, legs, arms, and torso, but my waist is still bigger than my "normal" porportions.  I can only hope that with continued weight loss, it will eventually shrink to a more regular measurement.  My waist is still 7 inches smaller than my hips, so I guess that's good.

Day 193 - Unmotivated

I'm feeling unmotivated.  I've accomplished a lot.  I know that.  I am still exercising 6 days a week, for the most part, and enjoying it.  Exercise is not my problem (except for pain limitations and coinciding boring routine), food is. 

I don't want to cook anything.  It used to be that when I thought about cooking dinner, I got energized.  I liked the idea of making healthy meals.  But now?  I don't know.  I'm finding it difficult to muster enthusiasm.  I still cook most of my meals, but I also often scrounge a meal.  Some fruit, a piece of cheese, a few bites of leftovers, a slice of ham.  I am not committed to making an entire meal. 

Maybe I'm depressed.  I am sad these days, but I didn't think it was affecting my eating patterns.  But now that I think about it, maybe it is.  I feel lost.  As if time is passing by without me.  I'm that blurry figure in the movies that is standing still while everything and everyone else whizzes by.

I've lost 40 pounds.  It's a good start.  My body looks better.  Clothes fit better.  But psychologically I have not adjusted to the weight loss.  My fat girl mentality persists. 

Day 182 - Six Months Done and Biking Boredom

I've been at this for 6 months.  Sheesh.  Seems like I should be smaller by now.  At a rate of 2lb/week, I should have lost 52 lbs.  I don't know how much I have lost, but I know it isn't 52.  Judging by the fit of my clothes, I'm guessing that I have lost between 35 and 40 pounds.  At this rate, I will not make 100 by the end of the year, but I will make 70 or 80.  And you know what?  That's okay.   I may not be the size I was hoping to be 6 months into this journey, but I am stronger, and I feel better about my body.

My hip/sciatica has improved a little.  I was beginning to think I would need an MRI, but now I am encouraged. 

There are two stationary bikes in the swim and tennis club.  One is a recline, and the other a regular sit-up-straight sort of bike.  I don't use the recline.  Unfortunately the other stationary bike, the one that I use, is the only peice of equipment in the gym with the exception of two weight machines, that faces the wall.  A few days ago I realized that part of my dread of biking at the club and 4-8 weeks of healing stem from looking at that wall.  There's a heart rate poster on the wall directly in front of the bike, and I have it memorized.  Tell me your age, and I'll tell you your target heart rate for weight loss, aerobic fitness, and anaerobic output. 

Finally I got smart and asked the club manager if she would consider moving the bikes to another location in the gym so that they faced both outside and the TV.  I showed her where they could fit if another weight machine was exchanged in their place.  She was in complete agreement, so I am hoping that when I go in today, the bike will have been moved.  I am not optimistic.

Day 176 - Pain

I am in pain.  It's not a good pain.  It's sciatica, and it has gotten worse.  I can't walk or stand more than 5 or 10 minutes at a stretch without needing to sit down for a minute. 

I googled exercises that I should avoid when suffering from sciatica and discovered many of the exercises I have been doing are on the "do not do" list.  This includes squats, lunges, crunches of any kind, running, and any sort of strength training where the lower back is engaged either actively or as support.  Also on the list are deadlifts, which I have not been doing.  At least I got one thing right.

To heal, I figure I need to reduce and limit my activity for about 4 weeks.  Hopefully not longer, but I'm not too optimistic as this juncture.  In the past 4 days, I have taken two rest days and have swam the other two.  That's it.  No walking, no lifting, no biking.  And the outcome?  I'm still in pain.  Lots of it. 

What can I do?  I can swim.  I can do some strength training as long as it doesn't put stress on my lower back.  I can bike.  And when things start to improve, I can begin incorporating walking back into my routine, starting with short walks around the neighborhood and stopping before the pain really sets in. 

I am frustrating by this pain.  It makes me tired.  I feel derailed and a little defeated.  I know that I can still lose weight, but I will have to watch what and how much I eat more carefully.  I can still exercise, but not nearly as much and without the variety that I need to stay motivated. 

This will be a difficult 4 weeks. 



My pain is concentrated right at the nerve.



Day 161 - Office CHeats

I did well five days in a row this week.  Right up until I went to the office.  I didn't eat sweets, which is a good thing, but I did eat bread and potatoes one night for dinner, and the next day, I ate potatoes at lunch and carb heavy mexican food for dinner.  Started this morning out with a bagel and a donut.  Ugh.  What was that about?

Next week will be a challenge, as I will be up in the office for 4 days.  I'll make a couple of meal over the weekend that I can freeze and take up with me.  That should help me avoid temptation.  I'll need to pick up some paleo snacks from Trader Joes as well. 

Finding myself doubting my weight loss.  I have to take a look in the full body mirror to convince myself that I have actually lost 35 lbs.  I guess I figured I would be in a smaller size by now.  Guess it doesn't really matter.  I wear the same t-shirts, yoga pants, and hoodies that I wore at my heaviest, so sometimes it's easy to forget that I have lost weight.  Because the yoga pants and hoodies both have stretch, it's difficult to tell that they fit looser.  But they do.  Some of my workout t-shirts have gotten too big.  So there is progress. 

Concerned about my sciatica and the triathlon sprint in October.  Will I be able to do it?

Day 156 - Losing Steam

I've been unmotivated lately.  Still exercising, but my eating could use improvement.  Over the past couple of weeks, I've eaten paleo about 60% of the time.  More meals are paleo than are not, but I have eaten peanut butter cups, ice cream, french fries and other foods that are high in sugar or simple carbs.  I could feel it.  When there's a lot of sugar in my diet, my right hand tingles every once in a while and my sleep is interupted. 

I know I feel and am healthier when I stick to a paleo diet, but lately I've felt overwhelmed by the effor required to eat paleo the majority of the time.  Although I do not as a rule buy or eat processed food, preparing three meals a day without starch or grains takes focus.  It takes time. 

I've hit a weight loss plateau.  I am rarely sore, so I suspect my exercises routine(s) aren't challenging my muscles as they once were.  Couple that with three weeks of an only moderately paleo diet, and the scale isn't moving.  I know this is about more than the scale.  That I am losing weight for my health and for my happiness.  But I do get discouraged by how slow the weight loss is in comparison to how much effort I am putting out in the gym and in the kitchen.

My sciatica was getting better with a few trips to the chiropractor/physical therapist and a couple massages.  Then it got worse.  Much worse.  I was thinking about what I had done that might have made it worse, and then it occured to me that I had incorporated sit ups into my circuit training, which I have never done before.  I do lots of core work, but never sit ups.  So I googled "sit ups and low back pain" and discovered multiple warnings that people with any sort of low back pain or injury (including sciatica hip pain) should never perform sit ups.  Never ever. 

I'm tired of hurting.  I have to sit two or three times during a half hour walk to releive the nerve pain in my hip.  I can't run.  I can't hike.  I hate this sciatica.

Day 144 - Time Off

I took a week off from eating paleo.  That's not to say I ate bread or pasta or other carby starchy goodness at every meal, but I did eat more carbs than usual, and I did this for a week.  I'm feeling a bit stuck with paleo menus.  I miss rice with my stir fry and pasta in my lasagna.  I don't have trouble eating paleo two meals of the day, but three can sometimes be a chore. 

Maybe I just needed a break. 

Kept up with the exercise and am still losing weight.  Although I did drop back a little bit last week, putting in 6.5 hours rather than 8, but I am making it for it now, focused on a goal of 34 hours for the month.  I have 11 hours left and 8 days to knock it out.  I can do it. 

Gettting much faster at boxing.  Trainer has been telling me this for a couple of weeks, and now I am beginning to notice myself that my movements are much more fluid.  Boxed 6 rounds yesterday after 20 minutes of hard cardio intervals.  Not too shabby.

Day 136 - 7 Day Stretch

I ate crackers, ice cream, pudding, and mashed potatoes yesterday.  So much for my 8 days in a row without grains or starches.  I have revised my goal and am now aiming for 7 days at 80% compliance. 

Last week I dropped back on my exercise a bit.  Not consciously.  I exercised just under 7 hours instead of my usual 8.  I swam only once, so that accounts for the missing hour.  The weather has turned cold again, and I haven't felt like braving the chill when I get out of the water and walk back to the clubhouse.  Also, the big pool, although heated, feels cold when it's cold outside.  I swam once in the small pool last week but was frustrated by just how warm it was.  And how short.  I so much prefer the big pool.

*************************************************************************

I did better today. 

Breakfast:  2 eggs, 3 pieces bacon, 1 orange
Snack:  1 piece of string cheese
Lunch:  4oz steak, 1/3 cup mashed potatoes, mushrooms, green beans
Dinner:  roast chicken, paleo gravy, apple and cabbage coleslaw
Dessert:  dark chocolate square and tsp of peanut butter

Only cheat was the mashed potatoes, but they were worth it. 

For exercise, I walked the dog half and hour, did 20 minutes of intervals on the stationary bike, and took a boxing class, for a total of 1.5 hours.

Day 134 - Leg Strength, Knee Pain, Gin, and Pasta

This was not a great week.  Not a great last couple of days.  Yesterday was good on carbs, but other days, not so much. 

I ate french fries and a burger Thursday night.  Attended a tasting at a small spirits distillery, and drank the equivalent of about 4 shots, maybe more.  Woke up in the middle of the night with knee pain that persisted through the next day.  Inflammation. 

A a positive note, I did intervals on the elliptical yesterday, which I haven't done in about a month, and noticed a significant change in leg strength.  I don't do straight intervals on the elliptical.  My workout goes soemthing like this:   3 minute warm up, 1 minute sprint, 2 minute recovery, 2 minutes high level 8 steps forward and 8 steps back so forth so on, recovery, sprint, back and forward steps, etc.  Up until a month ago, I was setting my forward and back step interval at level 8.  But yesterday, level 8 was too easy.  I bumped it up to 10 but felt even that might have been too low.  What this means is that my legs have gotten significantly stronger, as have my glutes.  Always a good thing. 

I'm ready to cut out the carbs again.  Make it thorugh a week without falling off the wagon.  No cheating at the office or in restaurants while traveling.  See if I can go 7 or 8 days in a row. 

My goal is to eat no grains or starches until next Monday, May 23.  Eight days straight.

Day 128 - Cheater Cheater

I've had some cheats this week.  On Wednesday, in the office, I ate donuts, pizza, and then bread at dinner.  Today, Mother's Day, I began the day with restaurant breakfast that included hash brown potatoes and buckwheat pancakes.  I "skipped" lunch and snacked on popcorn.  Dinner included a small portion of brown rice plus bread and ice cream for dessert.  My goal for this week is not to eat the left over ice cream. 

Day 121 - A Third of the Way Through the Year

I am one third of the way through my year of fitness and weight loss.  Although by no means will my quest for good health be limited to 2011, but I do expect this year will be the most siginificant in terms of overall body changes.  My fitness level has improved considerably since January 1.  I have not yet stood on the scale, but judging from the fit of my clothes, I am down at least 30 pounds.  As far as general health goes, I am sleeping much better since going paleo/primal at the end of March, have a more regular menstrual cycle, and have far more energy. 

My body shape is returning. And by shape, I mean curves.  I was at or close to my heaviest at the start of the year; although I didn't know it.  Everything was big.  My stomach was big.  My butt was big.  My legs were big.  My face was fat.  But now things are slimming down.  I have lost 4 inches in my waist.  The muscles in my legs and arms are much firmer.  I had to drop down a bra size to compensate for the loss of inches in my back and chest.  My face looks thinner. 

There is still a part of me that wishes I was smaller.  That the past 4 months would have resulted in greater weight loss.  It feels as though I am not being fully rewarded for all of my physical efforts and to some extent, especially since going paleo/primal, my new eating habits.  But then I remind myself that progress is progress.  Fitting comfortably into clothes that were much too tight and marking others for donation because they are too big is progress.  Being able to bend and trim my toe nails without running out of breath is also progress.  Seeing my breast stick out further than my stomach is one of the best feelings ever. 

Progress.

What's next?  What will I focus on this month and the next?  Honestly, I'm not sure.  It's nice to be in auto pilot.  To know that I will exercise 8 hours this week and the week after that and the week after that without fail.  To know that I will eat healthy primal and/or paleo meals more often that not.  To know that I will sleep well and wake up rested. 

I have decided to compete in a triathlon sprint October 2.  I have 5 months to train, so I am focusing on losing more weight in May and June.  Starting July 1, I will train to a specific plan, and if all goes well, I'll be running 3 miles by the end of September. 

In the mean time, I will keep up with my once a week boxing class, twice a week circuit training, twice a week sprints, maybe incorporate more hikes into my schedule, and swim and walk as usual.  I will eat lots of fresh vegetables, fruits, and protein.  I will EAT MORE FISH. 

Here's to another 121 days.

Day 119 - Stress Eating

I've been stress eating this week.  I stay on track one day then eat bread the next.  Of course there was Easter, so I was expected to cheat.  But I wasn't supposed to eat jelly beans a couple of more times during the week, pretzels in the office, or rolls with my salad. 

I had to put my favorite cat down Sunday.  He was sick the week before, and I was worried about him.  This week I was just sad.  I kept up my 8 hours of weekly exercise through it all, but I did not stay paleo every day.  Such things happen. 

Even though my carb count was higher than usual, my calories were pretty much okay with a few exceptions. 

Am feeling ready to focus again on primal/paleo eating.  I have a birthday BBQ tomorrow night, so I might cheat a little then, but other than that, I plan to stay primal for the next 7 days and beyond. 

Day 111 - Office Cheats

I am eating pretzels.  And a few jelly bellies.  I am not hungry.  What is wrong with me?  Stop it!

I think I need to pretend that I am starting my 30 days all over again.  Something about having passed the 30 day mark has me slipping.  That and stress. 

Day 109 - The Day After (30 Days Paleo!)

Day before yesterday I cheated.  Big time.  Chips, refried beans, rice, and an entire pint of ice cream.  Yesterday I paid for it. 

I felt horrible.  Woke up thinking I was fine, but by noon, I had a headache.  All afternoon I was a little nauseous and felt like my blood sugar was low.  I was hungry between lunch and dinner.  I took an afternoon nap for the first time since beginning paleo/primal eating. 

I need to remember what that felt like. 

Once I got to the gym for my boxing class, I started feeling better.  The trainer said he didn't notice a lack of energy on my part, and honestly I didn't feel a lack of energy, but my mind was foggy.

Today I am back to normal.  Normal appetite.  No cravings.  Whew. 

Slept great again last night.  For three nights in a row, I haven't gotten up to pee before 6am.  Hope my new and improved sleep pattern is due to weight loss and primal living because that could mean the end of insomnia.  That alone would be worth a total conversion to the paleo/primal lifestyle.

P.S.  Today is my 30th day eating paleo.  I've had six cheat meals and popcorn twice.  Otherwise no grains, no starch, no refined sugar.  I do eat cheese and yogurt, and I have cream in my morning coffee or tea.  If I have something sweet, I use maple syrup, raw honey, or xylitol, but only the smallest of servings and not everyday.

Day 108 - Cheat Days and Food Coma

A friend of mine visited for part of the weekend.  Knowing we would likely go to dinner Saturday night at her favorite seaside restaurant, I planned my cheat meal for her visit.  I ate pretty low cal and completely paleo prior to dinner.  My dinner consisted of unsweetened iced tea, three pieces of fried fish, salad, sauerkraut coleslaw, and lots of bread with butter.  I was comfortably full afterwards.  Later, at the movies, I ate gelato.

Woke up Sunday feeling great.  We'd walked five miles on the beach Saturday, so I'm pretty sure my high carb dinner/dessert didn't effect me much.  I made a paleo brunch and then we spent the afternoon at the pool.  All was well until.....dinner. 

I ate mexican food.  Gringo style.  Beans, rice, cheese, and lots of chips and salsa.  I ordered a taco and enchilada.  Not a whole lot of food, but I couldn't finish it.  I was stuffed.  Piggy stuffed.  Came home, fell on the couch, and went to sleep.  I had a serious food coma. 

When I came to, I wanted ice cream. I suppose I figured that since I had already gone hog wild, I might as well eat ice cream.  Not a healthy way of thinking, I know, but I didn't care.  Too lazy to walk the dog, I drove to the store for pig ears (for the dog) and Haagen-Dazs for me.   Then I proceeded to do something I haven't done since college.  I ate the entire pint.  Oh yes I did.  Not wanting leftovers tempting me from the freezer and not willing to throw half away, I ate it all.  All 850 calories.

Several hours later I went to bed, and slept like a baby. 

Today I am back on track.  No hesitation.  Just hoping I don't have to go through 3 days of cravings/sugar withdrawals and hunger.  That would be bad.  But it's almonst noon, and so far so good. 

I can't believe I ate the whole pint. 

Day 103 - Is this treadmill broken?

Funny thing happened today.  After losing an afternoon trying to recover my computer from a malware attack despite a current McAfee subscription, I forced myself to go to the gym for 30 minutes of sprints on the treadmill.  Now I use the term "sprints" loosely.  My "sprint" intervals consist of 1 minute sprints at 6mph followed by 2 minute recovery intervals.  Rinse and repeat for 25 minutes plus a warm up and cool down. 

So today I get to the gym, reminding myself that my computer crisis is not a disaster.  The files are still there, I just have to find them.  Once I've gotten my pics and music files saved elsewhere, I'll reinstall the operating system.  In the meantime, I'll work off my laptop. 

But I digress.

I'm in the gym.  Self talking my way to a focused workout.  I step onto the treadmill and set it at 2.7mph for a gentle warm up. 

"This is slow."  I think to myself.  "I wonder if the treadmill is broken." 

I up the pace to 2.8mph.  Still slow.  Then up to 3.0.  This treadmill must be broken. 

I move to the another treadmill.  Set it to 2.8mph.  Slow.  Then 3.0.  Still slow.  Then 3.2.  Are both treadmills broken or am I faster?

I am faster.  No doubt.  Walking is easier.  Jogging is easier.  Moving is easier.

Day 101 - Treadmill Sprints

I'm jogging.  It's true, I have 70 lbs left to lose, and I'm jogging.  I figured I'd need to lose at least another 30 lbs before I tackled jogging, but twice last week I did jogging/walking sprints/recovery on the treadmill.  Yippeee!

Why am I so happy about jogging?  Because it shreds fat.  Seriously.  Shreds.  And builds leg muscles like nobody's business. 

Okay so am only jogging at 6 miles per hour, but that doesn't bother me a bit.  On Saturday I did 7 sprints.  My total workout time was 30 minutes.  I warmed up for 5, then alternated between one minute "sprints" and 1.5-2 minute recoveries for another 22 minutes.  Closed it out with a 3 minute cool down. 

I feel great.

Day 100 - Call Me Cavewoman

I am a convert.  A believer.  Born again.  The paleo/primal way of life is fast becoming my religion. 

It took me nearly 3 months to lose 20 lbs.  Since adopting a paleo/primal diet over the past 3 weeks, I have lost 10 lbs and lots of inches.

I've been incorporating interval training and circuit training/high intensity strength training into my exercise routine for the past 2 months.  At first, I was tired, exhausted really, especially on the weekends.  I was sore nearly every day.  But now I feel rested, energetic, and only mildly sore after an agressive strength training session.  I still exercise 6 days a week, for a weekly total of about 8 hours, but only 30 minutes a day is vigorous (intervals or circuit).  The rest is moderate.  I alternate between intervals and circuit training every other day, which is a combination of strength training (free weights, etc.) and plyometric exercises with no rests between sets.  This I do for 30-45 minutes, plus a 5 minute warm up and cool down.  I recently began incorporating one moderate only exercise day in addition to my one rest day.  Usually Sundays.  I take a long walk (1-2hrs) and maybe a swim.

I'm finding it easier to eat paleo.  It does take planning, and I have spent many hours surfing blogs for paleo/primal recipes, but it's quickly becoming second nature.  My cravings are gone, and even when I allow myself a cheat meal, I tend to stay pretty low carb because the side effects just aren't worth the splurge.  My typical daily diet looks something like this:

Breakfast:  one paleo banana muffin, an egg, two pieces of bacon, decaf coffee with cream
Lunch:  Salad with basil dressing, pork chop and paleo gravy (drippings, butter, chicken broth, and almond meal), one orange
Dinner:  Chicken, carrot and zuchinni stuffed bell peppers, strawberries,

I don't snack between meals or eat after 7pm. 

I am amazed at how quickly the weight is coming off of me now.  I am smaller every day.  It is wonderful.  Most importantly, I feel great. 

Day 97 - Shrinking

I've lost 2 inches off my waist in 2.5 weeks!  Nothing for 2 months despite lots and lots of exercise, and then whoosh.  Inches gone.  This paleo/primal eating works. 

I'm eating about 75-100 carbs per day.  Have one cheat day a week, but so far my cheat days have really only consisted of one or two cheat meals.  I'm not hungry between meals now, and the carb cravings are gone, so a day of too many carbs just isn't worth the three days it will take for the cravings to go away again.  I'm planning a cheat meal tonight so am keeping my carbs low for breakfast and lunch.  That way if I have a salad for dinner and some chips and salsa, my total carb intake for the day will be over 100 but not too far over.  Not enough to throw me off kilter. 

Hoping this inch loss pattern continues through the rest of the month and beyond.

Sugar Free Flourless Banana Muffins

I have been wanting a sweet treat.  Not really craving.  Just wanting.  So I found this recipe online, modified it a bit, and made the muffins.  Yum.  Perfectly sweet. Perfectly primal.  Not at all heavy. 

I estimate each muffin has 168 calories.

2 bananas (smashed)
2 eggs
2 T coconut oil (melted)
1 tsp vanilla
1 C almond meal/flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
2 dates (diced) - optional
1 small apple (diced) - optional

Mix wet ingredients.  Add almond flour, soda, and spices.  Mix.  Add optional ingredients.  Pour into 8 lined muffin tins.  Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes.



Primal/Paleo Banana Muffin



Day 93 - Leptin

I've been reading The Leptin Diet: How Fit is Your Fat? by Byron Richards.  He explains the physiology of metabolism.  How it works and why it might be broken.  Fortunately metabolic issues are reversable.  It might take 3 or 4 months of deliberate eating, exercising, and sleeping to set things right again, but it can be done. 

Richards breaks down the leptin diet into 5 rules:

Rule 1:  Never eat after dinner. 
Rule 2:  Eat three meals a day. 
Rule 3:  Do not eat large meals. 
Rule 4:  Eat a breakfast containing protein.
Rule 5:  Reduce the amount of carbohydrates eaten. 

Today I ate primal (paleo plus dairy) with no grains or starch.  Although Richards writes that whole grains, potatoes, and rice are okay in moderation, I am sticking with the paleo/primal plan to eliminate them from my diet 6 days a week.  I think it's important to keep my blood sugar levels very low for a while.  But I did try the no snacks/3 meals a day, and I am surprised to report that I wasn't particularly hungry between lunch and dinner.  After over 2 hours of walking at the beach, I was certainly hungry for dinner 5.5 hours after lunch, but I wasn't ravenous.  I ate a late breakfast and a light lunch.

Day 91 - March in Review

I've been eating primal/paleo for 12 days.  Except for the occasionally crunchy and salty snack cravings, I'm pretty much in auto drive.  Day 8 was a cheat day, but instead of cheating all day, I ate paleo during the day and then went out to dinner with friends.  Unfortunately the fish tacos I ordered were pathetic, so dinner was little more than raw cabbage, soft corn tortillas, and about 2 ounces of fish.  I ate a few bites of tiramisu as well, and that consituted "cheating" for a while.  Yesterday at work I ate a serving of pretzels.  They called to me, and I could not resist. 

I have not rid my diet completely of sweet treats.  I mix either maple syrup or raw honey into my greek yogurt as "dessert."  Sometimes I'll eat a date with peanut butter as a treat even though peanut butter is on the paleo hit list. 

Sciatica in my right hip is still bothering me.  I am sick of it. 

I'm up to 102.5 hours of exercise since the first of the year.  I took 5 rest days in March.  I try to work in at least 2 circuit/strength training sessions per week plus 2-3 interval cardio workouts.  I recently started incorporating a light workout day once a week.  I still put in the time on that day, but I do light to moderate aerobic activity along with swimming and/or stretching.  My body feels less tired since working that one light day into my schedule. 

I've lost a clothing size.  I'm happy about that but can't help feel like my weight loss should be more dramatic.  That said, even at this slow rate, I should be able to drop 5 sizes by 2012, assuming that as I get closer to my goal weight, a size reduction will equal 10 or 15 lbs rather than 20.

A woman at work started dieting at the same time and has lost more than I have.  That's frustrating.  She had more to lose, but not much more.  She's putting in a fraction of the exercise I am.  Pretty sure her main diet goal was to cut out fast food, junk food, some carbs, etc.  She likes her burgers and fries.  Lots of diet soda too.  I know I should take my own victory for what it is and be good with that.  Still, it's easy to be discouraged.

Day 82 - Lazy Day Fantasies

I have been fantasizing about taking a series of days off from my workouts.  Like maybe three or four days in a row of nothing.  No swimming, no interval training, no free weights, no boxing, no tennis.  Walking is pretty much unavoidable with a dog, but I fantasize about not doing that too. 

Why all the fantasizing?  My body is tired.  When I get up in the middle of the night to pee, my feet and legs are stiff.  Not terribly, but enough to remind me of all the hours of exercise that I've been logging.  And in the morning, everything is stiff - shoulders, back, neck, arms, butt, legs, feet.  It's not a rigid stiffness or an uncomfortable soreness, but it is constant.  There is really only one day out of the week when I do not feel sore, and that's the day after my rest day if (and only if) my rest day came after a light exercise day with the kids (basketball, easy soccer drills, etc.).  Those are few and far between. 

My lower back is still giving me fits, as is my sciatica.  I informed the boxing coach at the gym yesterday that I am not doing deadlifts anymore.  They hurt my lower back.  I need to find another way to work my hamstrings without stressing my lower back. 

Despite feeling tired and sore, I feel much stronger and significantly smaller.  So it's all worth it.  I am a bit concerned about injuring myself even though I am careful to do only what I am comfortable doing and keeping proper form.  Still, with all this exercising, I need to be extra cautious.  I have been extremely lax about stretching and am trying to train myself to stretch before and after a workout.  On my swim days, I consider swimming a post workout stretch. 

Yesterday I scheduled 30min elliptical intervals, 10min stationary bike, a 30min walk, and a 30min swim, for a total of 1 hr and 40min.  I took a break from work mid-afternoon and headed out for my walk.  For the first half mile, my legs screamed "NO!" but failure was not an option, so I kept going.  My legs did finally warm up, but my lower back stayed tight the whole walk. 

Later I went to the gym for elliptical intervals followed by a stationary bike cool down.  I followed my routine, but I didn't put out my usual amount of energy.  Just too tired. 

After that, I went to another gym for my swim.  I really had to talk myself in to that swim.  I reasoned that I could skip the swim and do a 30min strength training session with the bands at home or get on the ski machine, but I knew that I would not.  I wanted nothing more than to serve up a bowl of paleo chili that had been simmering on the stove and eat it while watching TV.  The temptation to abandon my workout "because I had already exercised for an hour and 10 minutes" would be too great.  So I went to the pool.  It was cold and windy.  I swam 5 minutes then tried to convince myself that a 25 minute or even 20 minute swim would be sufficient.  But in the end, I swam the entire 30 minutes. 

While I swam, I calculated the time it would take me to walk to the gym showers, wait for the water to heat up, shower, dress, get my stuff back together, and walk to the car.  I don't know if I thought of anything else during my swim yesterday except getting it over with and arriving back home clean and done for the day. 

Working out is hard.  Dieting is hard.  Sometimes just putting one foot in front of another is hard.

Day 81 - Paleo Week

I'm working from home all week, so I decided to start my paleo diet.  It's much easier to stick to a diet sans grains/simple carbs when I'm at home than when I'm on the road.  And there's something to be said for momentum, so I'm getting the most out of my travel-free week. 

Here's what I ate yesterday. 

Breakfast - 1/2 container full fat greek yogurt sweetend with honey, a bit of paleo style apple custard (coconut milk, coconut oil, apples), few pomegrante seeds, and a sprinkling of slivered almonds (approx 250 cals)
Lunch - lettuce wraps with nitrate free chicken and ham, avocado, artichoke soup (approx 450 cals)
Snack 1 - slice of string cheese (100 cals)
Snack 2 - chicken, tomato, grape seed mayo (100 cals)
Snack 3 - trail mix (100 cals?)
Dinner - pork chop, cauliflower and broccoli cheese casserole (approx 650 cals)
Dessert - leftover apple custard (approx 100 cals)

I don't intend to count calories on a regular basis, but I was curious, so this is an approximation.  1750 total calories is good.  I'm happy with that, especially considering I put in just under 2 hours of exercise. 

And I have to say everything I ate yesterday was delicious.  I did not miss bread, potatoes, or sugar at all.  Not one bit! 

But I was hungry throughout the day, which is unusual.  I can typically get by without snacks, or with just one between breakfast and lunch.  I ate 3 snacks yesterday.  Mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and after dinner.  I couldn't help it.  Hungry.

Day 73 - Sugar Addiction

Any diet goals I have set on this blog since the first year have been broken.  I'm not berating myself, but still.  It's disappointing.

I can't stop eating sugar.  White foods.  Bread, sugar, potatoes.  Some days are better than others.  I usually do pretty well at home and then fall off the wagon when I'm traveling for work.  Once I've tripped up, I seem to keep falling forward.  I buy a loaf of bread or a pint of ice cream or make a small batch of brownies.  And so on.  I tell myself that I'll eat a few slices of bread and then freeze the rest.  But I don't freeze it.  I eat 2/3 of the loaf over the course of a week and then throw the rest away. 

I know that my diet is hindering my success.  I'm guessing I have lost 20 lbs, which puts me on track for 2 lbs a week, but I could have lost more. 

My lower back pain and sciatica are persisting, and I know that is partially due to inflammation from the carbs I'm eating. 

I leave for 3 days tomorrow morning.  My goal to stay on track is to eat Trader Joe's Greek style yogurt sweetened with honey for breakfast at the office.  Lunch will be a salad (no bread).  I will not snack on bad things.  I will not eat sugar.  I'll bring string cheese and fruit for snacks.  Dinner could be difficult.  I will try my best but will not feel guilty if I eat a few simple carbs. 

I realized yesterday that I am almost through the first quarter of the year.  Yikes.  Time really does fly.  I feel completely confident that I can keep up this exercise pace.  If I can get my diet under control for the remaining quarters, then I'll be doing great. 

The past couple of weekends have been remarkably unproductive.  I am tired.  Seriously tired.  Sunday's are the worse.  If I lay down to read, I fall asleep.  Mid-day I am hit with a wave of exhaustion so deep that I can do nothing but sleep it off.  And after all this, I sleep at night for 8 or 9 hours.  I don't know if this is due to workouts catching up to me near the end of the week or because I have been traveling so much.  I don't think anything else is going on, but who knows.  It could also be dietary. 

So many reasons not to eat sugar

Day 66 - Week Ten

Woo hoo!  Nine weeks done!  Have I lost 18 lbs?  I don't know.  Maybe.  I suspect I was bigger than I thought because I have lost weight but my clothes aren't as loose as I was hoping they'd be by week ten.  Oh well. 

I am stronger.  I am happier.  I am sleeping better. 

Food is still a challenge.  I did well today.  I did have a small peice of dark chocolate covered caramel but no other sweets.  I ate mostly veggies, fruit, and protein except for the caramel and three small pieces of whole wheat sourdough toast spread throughout the day.

Since January 1st, I have taken 10 rest days and have logged 76.7 hours of exercise.

I'm thinking about doing a triathalon sprint in October.  It's a 1/4 mile swim, 12 mile bike, and 3 mile run.  I already swim 1/4 mile or more 3 or 4 days a week in addition to walking and high intensity cardio.  But I don't do all three without resting.  And I don't run.  I walk.  But if I could lose another 40 lbs and train for 4 months before the event, I might be able to jog 3 miles.  I'm confident I could do all three just not certain I could manage a 3 mile jog/run after the swim and bike.  More on this later.

Day 59 - Body Bugg?

I’m curious about the BodyBugg and other calorie burn measurement devices.  Would wearing one of these contraptions really motivate me to workout harder or workout more often?  Would they spur me to walk an extra mile instead of eating ½ cup of ice cream? 

I like the idea of knowing how much I’m burning throughout the day.  Knowledge is power, and power, in this case, is weight loss.  I have long been suspicious of the online calorie burn calculators and the tally kept by the cardio machines at the gym.  Both seem unrealistically high, as if by telling me I’m burning 400 calories instead of the actual 250, I’ll go out and buy a treadmill or elliptical trainer of my very own. 

Unfortunately after a little online research and a solid comparison article by a fitness device guru, I am unconvinced that the Body Bugg or its competitors will do little more than swallow up my time and my money.  Right now I am putting in an average 8 hours a week of exercise with one rest day.  I can honestly say that is as much as I can do.  I have no time (or energy) to move any more than that.  Granted about one third of that time is spent walking at a moderate pace, but the rest is pretty hardcore exertion.  Well except for swimming, which is also moderate.  Even still, I’m spending at least 3 hours a week sweating like a pig, and I have the heart rate to prove it.  Wearing a Body Bugg isn’t going to make me workout more because I just don’t have the time.

Body Bugg

Day 58 - Food, Food, Food

I have to say that exercise has gotten exponentially easier.  I wake up expecting to put in an hour or more of cardio.  I rarely have to push myself to get going.  Last month was much more challenging in that regard. 

But for whatever reason, I am struggling with food control.  My portions are pretty good for the most part, and I'm not snacking like a crazy fool.  My trouble is sweets and simple carbs.  I have eaten dessert for the last 6 days.  Friday I ate three brownies.  What is up with that?

Maybe I need to go cold turkey.  Just cut it all out.  Paleo.  Allow myself two cheat days, one full and one just dessert.  Do this for a month.  I know paleo works.  If I eat paleo, I can lose weight even without exercise, not that I would do that now, but that is a testiment to it's effectiveness. 

On second thought, cold turkey will probably doom me to failure.  Too extreme.  I will aim instead for two paleo meals per day this week and no more than three desserts.  Week two will be two desserts.  Week three 5 full days of paleo, two modified, and two desserts.  Week four will be 6 full days, one cheat, and one dessert. 

I feel like I'm not getting the most out of my exericise endeavors because I am not eating as well as I should for optimal weight loss.  But at the same time, I know from past experience that if my expectations for eating are too high, too "perfect," I will fail.  And failure equals weight gain.  It's difficult to know where to find the moderation line.  It could be that for me 75% paleo is more realistic than 100%.  Success is measured in perseverance not only pounds lost.  Who was more successful in the long run?  The tortoise or the hare?

Day 51 - Keep On Keepin' On

Still on track.  So far this month, I've exercised for 24.5 hours.  Since the first of the year, 58.5 hours.  Not too shabby.

Sugar and carb cravings seem to be diminishing, which is great.  I rarely find myself overeating or snacking when I'm not hungry.  Physically I'm tired from all the exercise, but I'm motivated to keep going and like feeling strong.  My muscles are definitely firming up.

Clothes continue to fit better/looser.  Things that didn't fit now do, and that is always a good feeling.

Sciatica and lower back are still bothering me, particularly the sciatica.  It improves mid-week when I'm not swimming.  I think maybe the frog kick (breast stroke) is making it worse.  Guess I should crawl stroke only for a week or two.  See how it goes.

Day 44 - Sciatica

My sciatica is not getting better.  I take that back.  It felt better last week, but now it's worse than ever.  I'm guessing all this working out is stressing my piriformis muscle, but I don't want to stop.  I didn't walk today because walking does seem to stress it.  Unfortunately for Bella, I won't walk again tomorrow.  I'm hoping that by taking 4 or 5 days off from walking, things will get better.

The elliptical, stationary bike, and swimming don't seem to affect my sciatica too much, at least not during the workout.  So I'll concentrate on those activities this week.  Pilates is good too.

I was tired today.  Don't know when I've been this tired.  I took some Exedrin PM last night, and I think it took all day to work it's way out of my system.  I was exhausted all day.  Productive but exhausted.

Ate a lot of carbs this weekend.  Whole wheat mini pitas, hash browned potatoes, mashed potatoes, ice cream, cookies, corn tortillas.  I usually fight the urge to eat simple carbs, but this weekend I didn't care.  Although I feel now that I got it out of my system and am planning to get back on track tomorrow.

Read an article today about how to mix things up so you don't become bored with your workout.  One suggestion was to walk backwards on the elliptical. Set to level 8 and do 4 paces forward then 4 paces back, rinse and repeat for 2 minutes.  Do this 3 or 4 times in a 30min workout along with intervals.  I'm going to try this tomorrow.

I am also going to try a 30min stability ball workout.  http://www.ehow.com/videos-on_2264_stability-ball-workout.html

Day 42 - I Love Plyometrics

I had a great workout at the gym today.  Alternated upper body and lower body workouts with free weights and plyometrics.  Spent a little time on the bike and elliptical, but only about 6 minutes total and at a hard level/fast pace.

Have been surfing the web for basic plyometric exercises and workout routines.  I think I'll try this one next.  But damn those burpees are tough for me. 

Day 41 - Recovery Time

I've been discouraged this week.  Worked really hard for four days and throughout the weekend, but come Tuesday, felt discouraged.  I feel fat.  I know that I have lost weight, and my clothes do fit better, but I still feel really fat.  I am anxious for the day when my fat pants are two sizes too big.

Last night I played basketball with my brother's kids, something I've been doing pretty much every week since the start of the year.  Running back and forth between hoops always leaves me gasping for air...until last night.  Last night I didn't gasp.  I didn't wheeze.  My  heart pumped and sweat poured off my forehead, but my lungs felt surprisingly calm.  I do believe my recovery time has improved.  Significantly.

Tomorrow will be 6 weeks.  They say it takes 6 weeks to notice a change.  I'm right on time.

I think the intervals and circuit training are paying off.  Walking and swimming too, but they're more of a moderate thing.  Apparently when it comes to cardiovascular health, slow and easy does not win the race...unless you're training for a marathon.

Day 38 - Waisting Away

Two weeks ago I tried on a belt I haven't worn in a while and blogged about it.  The belt was tight.  Soooo tight.  Mortified, I vowed not to try it on again until March 1. 

So much for resolutions.  After an intense three days of exercise (and a sore bum from yesterday's jump squats), I decided to try the belt on again.  I slipped on my favorite jeans which were so tight at the start of the year that they created a siginificant muffin top but now fit perfectly.  These jeans need a belt.  They sit below the waist, and without a belt, tend to slide down my hips. 

The belt fit!  A year and a half ago, I wore the belt on the second hole, sometimes the 3rd, if I had been cutting back on carbs.  Today I had to wear it on the first hole, but who cares.  I am only an inch away from the second hole.  Considering that I've lost more than an inch from my waist in the last 2 weeks, I'm happy with slot number one.

Day 37 - Tuckered Out

Today my body was tired.  Determined to stick to my goal of 6 hours of exercise over the past 3 days (including today), I put on my sneakers and headed out the door as if every muscle in my body wasn't crying out for me to stop.  I took an hour long walk in the middle of the day with Bella, and I had to push myself to keep going every step of the way.

My plan was to spend 30-45 minutes in the gym doing some aggressive circuit training followed by a 30 minute swim, but after my dog walk, I fell asleep on the couch.  Then later, when cleaning up my room, I fell asleep on my bed.  When I came to, it was nearly 5pm, and the gym closes at 6pm.  So I rushed out and made it there with 55 minutes to close.  I gave circuit training everything I had for 25 minutes and then swam easy to moderate laps for another 25 minutes.  In the end, I was proud of myself for persevering, even if it took two short naps to get me into gear.

I work plyometrics into my circuit training, alternating between upper and lower body.  Today's 25 minute routine was something like this:  2 minute treadmill warm up followed by a 1 minute jog, 1set of chest presses, 2 minutes hard cycling on stationary bike, 1 set bicep curls with free weights, 1 minute stability ball jumps, 1 set chest pulls, 30 seconds jump squats, 1 minute ball catches, 2 min stationary bike, 1 minute ball throws, overhead presses, jump squats, leg presses, stability ball, hamstring presses, treadmill, tricep curls, lunges.  Didn't seem like I did so many different things, but now that I see it in writing, no wonder I was so wiped out after only 25 minutes.

This was my first time doing jump squats.  I saw them online and decided to give them a try.  The you tube athletes make them look so easy, but oh my.  I tired quickly.  I was hoping to do them for a minute, but could only get through 30 seconds.  My legs felt like lead.

Had a smoothie for dinner. No sugar added.  One small banana, frozen strawberries, unsweetened almond milk, amino protein powder, and ice.  Calorie count was about 250.  Not bad.

Day 35 - January in Review

I exercised for 34 hours in January.  I'm happy with that number.  I took a total of 5 rest days, all of them while traveling for business.  It's tough fitting exercise into my schedule when away from home.

Although there were many days during the month that I ate healthy, low calorie meals, I did splurge quite a few times on ice cream, chips and salsa, coconut cake, bread, and mexican food.  I think for February I need to focus on eating paleo more often than not.  With some planning, I should be able to eat paleo 80% of the time without too much trouble.  I also want to focus on allowing myself one indulgent day a week.  Studies show that overeating or eating something different once a week helps wake up your metabolism.  Too much of the same thing, and it gets in a rut.  If I limit my free meals to only one day a week, I think I'll see better results.

Despite my imperfect dieting, I have lost weight.  My fat jeans stretch out when I wear them at the office and by noon are much too big to look good.  So that's progress.

Day 29 - Waist Loss

My favorite jeans fit.  Finally.  I've been wearing them occasionally, despite their being too tight and cutting off my circulation when sitting, but today I tried them on after a week of not wearing them and discovered that they now fit (just barely) in the waist.  Yay!  I didn't stick to my diet two or three days this week, so I was not optimistic that inches had been lost.  But they have, and that's a good thing.

My current mini goal is for my favorite jeans to fit loosely by March 1.  Loosely means almost too big everywhere but the waist, which will fit perfectly and accomodate a belt.  Loosely means I can wash and dry them on hot without having to remember to pull them from the dryer after 15 minutes and hang dry them the rest of the way to prevent further shrinkage.  Loosely means they fit great when I put them on.  No stretching of the seat or the waist needed.  No muffin top.

I created a spreadsheet to track my exercise.  I track it on here, but I want to be able to see my total hours for each month at a quick glance.  For some reason, I am finding logging my exercise times very motivating.  It's as if exercising helps compensate for all the uncertainty in my life.  I am in control of that one thing.  And at the end of the day, if I've eaten M&Ms at the office or too many chips at the Mexican restaurant with friends, at least I have exercised.  At least I have done one thing right. 

My grandmother had one of these.  My brother and I would roll on the floor in fits of laughter when she used it.  She was a large woman, and her vibrating belly fat was a sight to behold.

Day 25 - Enough Said

Today I ate corn nuts.

Day 24 - Cinched

My belt is too tight.  I lost my belt for almost a year and found it yesterday while cleaning up the craft/fitness room.  Today, while feeling a little smug about the fact that my cute corduroys are loosening up at the waist (they fit low), I put on my belt, thinking it would help my pants from slipping to far down my hips.  Oh my lord.  That belt was tight.  I am appalled.

I won't try the belt on again until March 1.

Here's what I ate today.

Breakfast - small serving of leftover spanish rice w/ beef and veggies, cheddar cheese, milk in tea (approx 400 cals)
Lunch - 1 bratworst, coleslaw with vegenaisse, olive oil, and balsamic, sour dough bread, granola bar (600 cals)
Snack - 3 tangerines, string cheese, bread and butter (300 cals)
Dinner - 4 oz turkey breast, quinoa, green beans, mushrooms in pan sauce (450 cals)
Total calories:  1750

My calories may have been a little high, but I was hungry at every meal and I burned approximately 1000 calories exercising for 1.5 hours.  I was particularly hungry for lunch and my afternoon snack.  I wanted to resist bread but didn't.  Oh well.

Day 23 - Exercise Good, Eating Not So Much

Over the past 23 days, I have put in 25 hours of exercise, not including house cleaning.  I have taken 4 rest days.  I'm still pretty tired at the end of each day, but I'm finding it much easier to get going.  I've noticed that I'm working out with more intensity as time progresses. 

My eating, on the other hand, could use some improvement.  I do well about 5 days a week, but the other two not so much.  Last week I struggled with simple carbs.  I ate peanut M&Ms in the office, went out for Mexican food with a friend one night and gorged on chips, and stopped for a fast food burger and fries on my way home Thursday night, followed up with leftover pizza at 9pm.  Ugh. 

I have not been writing down my daily food intake.  I know I should, but it's one more thing I'd have to make time for, and I don't have much extra time these days, especially given my exercise schedule. 

I found my 100 Days of Weight Loss book and am going to go through the exercises again.  When I used this book a year ago, I lost 40lbs.  I've gained 25 back, but nothing I can do about that except lose it again. 

Felt the old woe is me emotions creeping up this week after a particularly exhausting day of exercise and dieting.  I miss the days before hypothyroidism when a week of hard work resulted in 3 or 4 lbs lost.  I am lucky now to lose 1 or 2.  But I refuse to let this get to me.  Giving up on my health and weight loss goals for the long haul will only hurt me in the end.  

Day 17 - Sweet Tooth

I can't stop eating sweets.  I'm not eating a lot of sweets, which is a good thing, but I am eating something sweet nearly everyday.  I sort of thought I'd be over the cravings by day 17.  As much as I hate the idea, I'm thinking I should start writing down what I eat.  Nothing like full awareness to keep me accountable. 

Yesterday I ate a small scoop of Trader Joe's pomegranate blueberry sherbet.  About 150 calories worth.  Then while I was watching TV, I ate some natural licorice sweetened with molasses for another 130 calories.  I suppose in the grand scheme of things 280 calories worth of sugary food is not too bad, but if I had skipped both and had an apple instead, I'd be ahead by 200 calories.  That's a lot. 

Nevertheless, I am losing weight.  I don't know exactly how much, as I am not quite ready to face the scale, but my clothes are a tiny bit looser and I feel much more comfortable in my workout pants, which is an indication that body fat is on the move.  I'm guessing I've lost at least 4 lbs, which would keep me on target for 2 lbs a week.   More would be great, but I'm good with 2 if that means I don't get obsessive and all-or-nothing crazy with my weight loss program. 

Still exercising nearly every day.  I have a touch of sciatica in my right leg that's been giving me fits.  It usually works itself out within a week, so I'm hoping things will improve if I cut back on the walking.  Swimming is best, but I'm fine on the elliptical as well. 

Spent 20 minutes on the nordic ski machine last night.  Haven't been on in at least a year.  Yikes.  I really work up a sweat on that thing.  It irritated my sciatica a little bit but not too bad.  Nothing like walking.

Day 14 - Put Down the Chips

Chips are one of my trigger foods.  I love them.  I love the salty crunch.  I'm not a fan of oil and vinegar potato chips and am able to eat only a reasonable portion of corn chips, unless guacamole is available, but give me a bag of Hawaiian style BBQ potato chips or Nacho Cheese Doritos, and it will be gone in 2 or 3 days.  Never inclined toward big binges, I have not eaten an entire bag in one sitting. 

I brought my own meals to work again this week, which worked out well.  In the two days up, I stuck with my healthy eating plan with the exception of a biscotti on Wednesday.  But more importantly, I did not give into the temptation of chips.  Buffalo blue cheese and spicy Thai gourmet potato chips.  Alright I admit I did eat 3 or 4 of the buffalo blue, but I ate only one of the spicy Thai.  That's a total of 5 chips that were available in the lunch room for 2 days.  Five chips!  Who am I?

Today marks the end of my second week.  I began this journey with only one real goal:  exercise 6 days a week.  I decided to take the rest as it came, rather than becoming obsessed by unrealistic goals, as I usually do, and then eventually abandoning all efforts.  So far this approach appears to be working.  When I have a scone with my morning coffee or a 100 calorie fudgcicle for dessert, I do not berate myself for eating simple carbs.  Instead I focus on staying on track the rest of the day and the day after that.  I am finding that each day I do a little better with my diet.  I do better because I want to do better not because I am guilting myself into it.

Day 10 - Clutter

My house is cluttered.  A lot of it is surface clutter that cleans up in about an hour.  But there is other unseen clutter hidden in closets, drawers, and the garage.  Some of this clutter can be thrown away or donated but much of it is useful.  The real problem is organization.  Not one of my strong suits. 

This weekend I decided to inact a new resolution.  Every week I will work on organizing one element of my house.  It doesn't all have to get done in that one week, but I must commit to that single area before moving on to another.  So here's my list of places to tackle inside the house.  The garage is a whole other animal:

1.  Master closet (clothes but there is room on high shelves for storing other things)
2.  Craft/exercise room and closet (the trouble with this room is that the closet is not organized and so I have no place to put stuff that is on the table)
3.  Guest room closet (full of Christmas stuff that could be better organized, but not too bad)
4.  Entertainment room closet (needs organizing to make better use of space - not a big job)
5.  Hall cabinets (could knock this off in an hour or two)
6.  Dresser in hallway (paper filing)

I would love to be organized.  I fantasize about it.  When my house is clean and tidy, I feel relaxed and infinitely more creative and optimistic. 

I planned to clean up surface clutter yesterday so that I can give the house a good cleaning, but I did not.  Instead I lollygagged the day away, reading and watching an old movie.  I did go for an hour walk and made some baked pasta to last me through the week.  But organize I did not. 

Would like to get in 9 hours of exercise again this week, but that might be unrealistic.  I travel Tuesday and Wednesday and am not likely to fit in much, if any, exercise.  Will need to exercise for 30 minutes tomorrow morning before I go.  Wednesday will likely be a rest day. 

Day 7 - Progress Report

My goal this week was to exercise 6 days.  I met my goal.  My total exercise time this week was just shy of 9 hours.  Not bad. 

Next week my goal is to incorporate strength training into my schedule 2 days out of the week for 30 minutes or more.  My diet goal is to eat sugar no more than twice during the week.

I haven't noticed my clothes fitting looser, but do have more energy.  A month ago I was thinking about how often I used to work out and couldn't fathom mustering up the energy to workout 12 or more hours a week.  Now I can.  In just 7 days, exercise has become something I look forward to again rather than an absolute chore. 

On the downside, I fell off the diet wagon a bit Wednesday.  There was some See's peanut brittle in the office, and I ate it.  Not a whole lot, but I should have avoided it altogether.  And then in the spirit of eating whatever I wanted, I ate too many chips before dinner when I met a friend at a Mexican restaurant.

Work is not pleasant for me right now.  The actual work is fine, it's just that there's not enough of it.  Week after week, I am promised that there will be more to do and then in reality there isn't.  I was up in the office three days this week, and barely had enough to keep me busy.  There's also some conflict amiss that I need to deal and am not sure how.  I think this frustration and uncertainty is leading me to eat while I'm in the office....or afterwards over Mexican food with friends.  Ugh.

Day 5 - Basketball

I am bored with exercise.  For the past 10 years, I have been doing the same thing over and over.  I play tennis,  work out on the elliptical machine, walk, strength train.   At one point, I bought a mountain bike and used it every weekend, but then I got a dog and stopped riding my bike because I couldn’t justify exercising without her.  Well enough of that.

One of my goals for this year is to change things up.  Get back on my bicycle.  Try something new or at least “new to me.” 

Last night “new” was basketball. 

I was hanging out with my niece and nephews while my brother and his wife went to the movies.  His kids are 12 year old triplets.   It was dark and already pretty cold when I got there, but I was determined to get some exercise, and not via the Wi.  Always up for an adventure, the kids borrowed a basketball from a neighbor (their ball was flat and we broke the needle trying to air it up) and walked to a nearby park with a barely illuminated basketball court.  I warned them that I hadn’t played basketball in about 20 years, which is not an exaggeration. 

When did I get so out of shape?  I mean, I exercise.  I am active.  I guess there really is something to be said for muscle memory because 45 minutes on the basketball court worked me over.  All that running back and forth between hoops.  I can spend 45 minutes on the elliptical and it feels like a walk in the park.  But I was huffing and puffing last night…for real. 

I feel good today.  My legs are tired, but that’s a good sign. 

What will I do next?

Day 4 - Fast Food Angst

I am not much of a fast food eater.  Occasionally I will drive through In-N-Out when I'm traveling, but that's about it.  That is until about six months ago when I stopped at MacDonald's on my way to work one morning because the coffee line at Starbucks was too long.  While there, I thought I'd try a sausage Mcmuffin (no egg) and a hashbrown.  You know.  For nastagia's sake.  I hadn't had a McMuffin or hashbrown since I was a kid.  They were, in a word, good.  Salty, cheesy, crispy good. 

And so I fell into a very bad habit of eating breakfast at MacDonald's nearly once a week.  I commute 3 hours from home almost every week and return a day or two later to spend the rest of the time working out of my home office.  Stopping at MacDonald's for a quick breakfast on my way gave me a little break from the monotony of driving and filled my belly.  But eeegads.  At what cost? 

My little meal was costing me 520 calories and 31 grams of fat.  At home, I usually eat a breakfast of stovetop oatmeal or fruit and toast, for a whopping 250 calories, which includes the milk in my coffee.  So once a week I was doubling my caloric intake at breakfast.  It's difficult to eat well when traveling, and if I don't plan ahead with healthy snacks and meals in my cooler, I wind up eating out the entire 2 or 3 days.  Looking back it is quite possible that my time in the office negated all my home efforts for eating well and keeping my calories low. 
And as if eating fast food wasn't bad enough already with all the fat, salt, and preservatives, researchers have now found another reason for us to avoid it all costs.  Apparantly fast food packages, like the little baggies hashbrowns and fries are served in, are coated in some sort of very evil chemical which prevents fat from leaking through the bag.  It is now known that this chemical leaks onto the food, which is then ingested into our bodies.  Not a good thing. 

Clogged arteries and chemical poisoning  

To be honest, it didn't really occur to me how often I was eating breakfast at Micky D's until I cleaned out my car.  Embarrassed by the wrappers, I had been stuffing them under the seats before passengers could see them.  When I pulled those bags and wrappers out from under the seats this past weekend, the gravity of that caloric overload hit me.  What was I thinking?


So today I planned ahead.  I ate breakfast before I left home.  I did stop for a coffee.  Nothing fancy.  Just a coffee with milk.  Ate a half of sandwich for lunch and saved the rest for tomorrow.  Packed some homemade chili with veggies from home for dinner tonight and tomorrow.  Have scheduled a workout with my brother's kids for tonight and a walk with a friend tomorrow night.  Also brought snacks with me - trail mix, jerkey, freeze dried strawberries, and natural licorice sweetened with molasses to satisfy my sweet tooth and keep me from raiding the candy drawer in the lunch room. 

Abrupt subject change....I attended the cardio boxing class at the club last night.  My back is sore today, which I expected, but I feel GREAT.

Day 3 - Polar Bear Dip

I don't normally think of the gym as a place where I might find myself doubled over in laughter, but yesterday all that changed.  I had met a friend of mine, Debsie, and her two kids at the gym for a workout and swim.  The "gym" is actually a swim and tennis club that includes a small, albeit functional, workout room with various equipment and cardio machines.  The club recently stopped heating its big pool and is now heating only the covered pool, which is outside but protected from the elements by a pergola.  The pool is heated to 85 degrees plus and is quite comfortable, too much so in my opinion, as the warm water lulls me into swimming only slow motion laps.  But I digress.

So with our cardio workout and a few laps in the heated pool complete, the kids decide to go check out the jacuzzi, which happens to be next to the big unheated pool.  We ask them to dip their feet in the big pool to see how cold it is, and then we have the great idea that a polar bear dip might be fun.  Yes, fun.  The kids check it out and don't seem all that diswayed by the chilly water, so we get out of the warm pool, gather our belongings, and walk in the rain over to the big pool in our swimsuits.  It's a cold walk as the air seeps into our wet suits.  Debsie's teeth are chattering.

We agree to jump in all at the same time, but somehow that doesn't happen.  While I am moving to jump in at a location near the ladder, anticipating a quick exit, one of the kids jumps in.  He seems undaunted by the cold, swims into the shallows, exits, and then heads to the jacuzzi. 

Still not quite ready to take the plunge, the girl and I stand on the edge while Debsie makes a go for it.  We watch her, wondering if maybe it's just not that cold.  But when she bursts through the surface of the water, arms flaying, water splashing every which way in her frantic attempt to escape, we know with absolute certainty that the water is indeed cold.  We continue to watch as she first bobs left, thinking that she'll follow her son's path of exit, quickly changes her mind and instead tries to hoist herself up and over the edge of the pool, a feat she has not been able to accomplish for probably a decade but was optimistic that the surge of adrenaline induced by the frigid temps would be enough to spur her to success.  She was wrong. 

Now she's stuck in the water, still flaying her arms, still screaming, and her face is beet red.  Ear-to-ear and chin-to-hair line beet red.  I am laughing hard, doubled over, vaguely aware that I am in a swimsuit and hoping to God that no one else but us is around to see my bent over ass but unable to stop both the laughter and the bending.  Debsie's laughing too.  Splashing and red faced and laughing as she makes her way to the ladder.  Finally she emerges and is off to the jacuzzi. 

Now it's just the two of us left.  Debsie's nine year old daughter and me. 

We jump in and come up screaming.  As I am fighting my way through the ice cold water to the ladder, it occurs to me to hold back and let the little one exit first.  But I am to cold to stop.  I reach the ladder a split second before her and hesitate for just a moment, long enough for her to rest a foot on the bottom step.  But she doesn't, and not one to waste such an opportunity, I glom on, pull myself out, then quickly turn around and offer her a hand, but she opts for the ladder rails instead, already three quarters of the way out of the pool. 

We sit in the jacuzzi and laugh about Debsie's red face and frantic bug-like splashing.  I'm hoping all that laughing (and splashing) resulted in an additional calorie burn.

What sort of exercise is this?

Day 2 - The Jolly Myth

Who came up with the notion that fat people are jolly?  Have you ever met a jolly fat person?  I have not.  Most fat people I know are disgruntled with their bodies, and this disappointment pervades their persona, to varying degrees.  They may be happy overall, but they are not jolly.  Some are far from it.  I have met angry fat people, mean fat people, funny self-deprecating fat people, sarcastic, chipper, cynical, sad, shy, disappointed, friendly and fearful fat people.  Never jolly.

That said, I'm not sure I've met a skinny or average weighted or only slightly overweight jolly person either.  Maybe the term jolly has lost something with age.  Maybe by association with Jolly Ole' St. Nick, it has become bigger than life, bigger than Webster's, bigger than fat even.

I am not jolly.  I am slightly cynical, optimistic about some things and deeply pessimistic about others, and I am restless to my very core.  But jolly I am most certainly not.

The thing is, I like me.  I like everything about me except for my fat.  I like my height, my laugh, my face, my breasts, my feet, my hands, my lips, my intellect.  I even like the less savory aspects of my personality like my impatience and my pessimism because everything contributes to the whole.  I am who I am.  But I do not like my fat, no sirree.

If I could lose this fat once and for all, I just might be jolly after all....at least for a day.

Day 1 - The Little Black Dress

A New Year's Resolution of weight loss is far from original.  I'd like to think of my decision to try this weight loss thing yet again less of a resolution and more of an adventure.  A process.  A journey.  I think about my weight every day.  I think about how fat I am every time I take a shower, get dressed, tie my shoes, go to the gym, eat.  When I imagine myself doing something I haven't yet done but want to do, such as snowboarding, wind surfing, or even walking the streets of Barcelona, I ask myself if I am too fat.  Often the answer is "yes."  Yes I am too fat to wind surf.  Yes I am too fat to snowboard.  Well probably not too fat to snowboard, but I have always had trouble getting off the lift without making a scene, and I would prefer not to subject myself to that mortification while 100 lbs overweight.

My greatest motivation for losing weight is my health.  Despite already being an active person and in relatively good health, apart from a severely underactive thyroid (Hashimoto's disease), I know that carrying around 100 extra pounds takes it toll on the body.

There are many reasons why I want to lose weight.  I will discuss these at length over the next 365 days, but for today, with New Year's Eve parties fresh in the mind's of readers, let me pontificate a bit about the little black dress.

I have never had a little black dress.  Oh sure, I have a couple of black dresses in my closet and have had others over the years, but none of them have ever been "little."  The closest I have come to "little" was a size 14.  The cutest one in my closet today is a Lane Bryant size 18/20.  It's a wee bit snug.

Now just so you know, I am a tall woman.  5'9.  I have strong shapely legs and a full bust.  I used to have an  hour glass shape, but my mid-section has spread, much to my great dismay.  Nevertheless, my weight is well-proportioned.  It's possible that by losing 100 lbs I might shrink down to a size 9/10, but an 11/12 is more likely.  I am a big girl, and 11/12 will look great on me.

Keeping size 12 in mind, I went online looking for a little black dress that I would be oh-so-happy to wear.  I like vintage styled clothing, so I flipped through the virtual pages of Anthropologie, a clothier that apparently carries nothing over a size 12.  I say apparently because they include a check box of size 14, but it is always shaded, indicating that that particular size is not available.  So I suspect finding anything at Anthropologie in a size 14 would be a fluke or an odd stroke of luck at best.  Normally I would shun a store that excludes woman of average size (14 is average for American women), but I love Anthropologies' flirty retro style.  And besides....this is hypothetical shopping.  I am not actually buying anything. 

So....here's my idea of the perfect little black dress.

Maybe I'll be able to fit into something like this in 365 days.  Maybe it will take more time.  We shall see.

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