2014 - Ugh

It's been over a year since I posted. I ended 2013 at my heaviest weight ever.  I felt horrible and was mortified by my double chin, thick neck, and enormous stomach.  I am happy to report that over the past 7 weeks, I have lost 31 lbs!

Give me a moment while I do a victory dance.  31 lbs whoop whoop!

What am I doing?  The Fast Metabolism Diet by Haylie Pomroy.  It works.  I eat lots of food, am not hungry, have energy, am alert, sleep better, feel better, have no back pain, and the pounds keep sliding off me.

The diet isn't easy.  There is a lot of prep and a lot of food restrictions.  But the idea of metabolic cross-training works.  It's something I had never heard of before.

I still have a long way to go with 100 lbs left to lose, but I can do it.

What Year is This?

I am embarrassed that my "Fit in a Year" blog is two years old, and I am still not fit.  Well maybe a little fit.  But still fat.  Make no mistake.  I considered starting a new blog so that I could conveniently forget that this is my third (if only) attempt to lose 75 pounds or so in a year.  But the notion of creating a new blog sounded tiring, so here I am.  Day 732.

Last year was the year of the back.  I learned the source of my 2010 and 2011 chronic pain and had it fixed.  There are now two screws and a rod in my lumbar spine.  I am partially titanium. More importantly, I am largely pain free.  Still recovering, so I do have some exercise limitations.

Still munching on a few leftover holiday sweets, so today isn't a diet day.  Although I think I've stayed in my calorie range.  My target is 1600-1700 per day.  My diet will be mostly primal/paleo with one cheat meal/week.  Exercise goals are the same as usual, with an increase in swimming and return to strength training.  I walk almost daily (don't always get in a walk when out of town), and will keep that up in addition to 3-4 swims per week, 2-3 strength training sessions, 2-3 cardio whatever (hitting balls on the court, elliptical, plyometrics).

Will also be tracking my calories for at least the next 3 weeks, beginning tomorrow.  Maybe after the initial 3 weeks, I'll try tracking the first week of every month just to stay focused.  If I start to back slide, then I'll increase.

Here's to no more pain and happy new year!

My New Back

Auto Pilot

I am finally in auto pilot.  No more crazy hunger, no more starchy cravings.  Things are good on the diet front. 

As far as my body is concerned though, things are not so good.  Had a CT scan and a follow up with the surgeon.  He says I need an L3/L4 fusion.  The pain I have been struggling with for the past year is caused from a cyst that developed because the L3/L4 disc has degenerated to the point of bone on bone joint contact.  According to him, remove the cyst, open up the vertebral level, fuse, and 3-4 months later, I am good to go.  Really?  I am terrified. 

Slowly Losing

I lost 1.2 lbs last week.  That's it.  I'm a little disappointed.  I have been working hard, am nearly always hungry, and am doing as much as I can without my back hurting to the point where I am relegated to the couch.  My only splurge has been the vegan flourless peanut butter cookies, of which I have eaten two every day for the last week.  It would be easy to blame my slow weight loss on the cookies, but that wouldn't be fair to the cookies.  They have about 10 net carbs per cookie and 140 calories.  I have accounted for the calories in my daily log. 

I did go over my 1700 calories allotment 3 or 4 days last week, but according to myfitnesspal.com, I still came in under what I should have eaten given my activity level.  But I suspect their calorie burn per exercise calculations are generous.

I am hungry.  Especially after breakfast/before lunch. Even if I eat a small snack, I am starving for lunch.  Afternoon isn't too bad.  I am often hungry before bed.  Sometimes I eat a little something, sometimes I don't.  I try not too, but if hunger is keeping me awake, I take in about 50 calories and am able to sleep. 

My goal for this week is to cut back on sweeteners...maple syrup, honey, coconut palm sugar.  I will limit myself to one sweetened product per day, be that plain yogurt with honey, a peanut butter cookie sweetened with maple and coconut sugar, or ice cream.  Just one sweet moderately low carb treat per day.

Portion Control and Primal Peanut Butter Cookies

Today I made Vegan Peanut Butter cookies from Elana's pantry.  I modified the recipe slightly by replacing the agave nectar with maple syrup and coconut palm sugar.  Agave nectar is very sweet, so the exchange was not one for one.  For those of you who think agave nectar is good for you, check this out.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-mercola/agave-this-sweetener-is-f_b_537936.html

I also replaced the two tablespoons of palm shortening with one tablespoon of coconut oil.  The results?  Amazingly delicious. 

• 1 cup blanched almond flour
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ¼ teaspoon baking soda
• ½ cup chunky or creamy peanut butter
• ¼ cup grade B maple syrup
• 4 tablespoons organic coconut palm sugar
• 1 tablespoons melted coconut oil
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. In a small bowl combine almond flour, salt and baking soda
2. In a medium bowl mix together peanut butter, sweeeteners, oil and vanilla with a hand blender
3. Blend dry ingredients into wet with hand blender until well combined
4. Roll 1 tablespoon of dought into a ball and place onto a parchment paper or silpat lined baking sheet.  Repeat with remaining dough. 
5. Bake at 350° for 8-12 minutes until golden around the edges
6. Serve

Each peanut butter cookie is 154 calories.  High calorie but not high sugar, so they provide energy but no insulin spikes.

Recording my food in a daily diary has led me to focus closely on portion control.  I find that if I make something and store the leftovers in one container, I am more likely to have a few extra bites.  But if I portion it out into single servings, I don't overeat.  I eat the designated serving and then that't it.  On Saturday, I cooked ground beef for tacos.  It was 3/4 of a pound of beef.  After cooking it, I formed three piles in the skillet and served myself one.   The other two I stored in separate containers in the fridge. Then yesterday, I reheated one portion for a two taco meal.  When I made honey vanilla custard for company (with a little leftover), I poured the hot custard into individual ramkins.  Each ramkin is a serving.  No more no less. 
This is something I have not done before, and I think it's helpful.

Panda Express

I've been super hungry for lunch this week.  Today I added 200 calories to my breakfast in an attempt to stave off hunger a little longer.  It helped, but not so much that I would do it again.  I think I'd rather have a 100 calorie snack at 10:30 or 11:00 and then lunch.  I save 100 calories that way and still calm my hunger

Today I wanted something different for lunch.  Something that was not in my fridge or kitchen.  I had to run a couple of errands, so while I was out, I went to Panda Express.  But for the record, I researched before I left the house.  I looked up nutrition information for Subway, Taco Bell, and Panda Express.  PE was the only low-carb, low-calorie option. 

At Panda Express, I ordered steam veggies as my side, green bean chicken, and kabori beef.  Total calories?  455.  That's right folks.  455 cals and roughly 45 grams of carbohydrates.  This included half of a fortune cookie.  It was a nice break from my usual fare.  I was satisfied.  Not full, not tired from carb overload.

Some diet and nutrition books recommend eating less than 50 net carbs per day for weight loss.  I find that number difficult to consistently acheive.  Other books recommend staying below 100 carbs for weight loss, a number that although still quite low, is easier to acheive if abstaining from sugar, bread, pasta, etc. 

I've been tracking my calories, loosely, for the past couple of weeks.  But I have decided, after reading The Amen Solution, to track my food for 10 weeks.  I've never tracked food for longer than 5 weeks.  Sheesh.  Ten weeks is a long time.  

Here's my food diary for today.  I haven't had dinner or my afternoon snack, but I have already planned out what I will eat.  I do this regularly and rarely veer off plan.  I burned about 600 calories today in over an hour of walking and swimming...not at the same time.  My aim is to stay under 1700 calories per day.  I went a little over today (88 cals), but I don't think it will make much of an impact.  Yesterday I was under 1500.  With my exercise level, 1600-1800 is about right. 

And for the record, my carb count today was less than calculated by fitnesspals.com, as indicated in the below diary.  My NET carb total was about 115.  A little high, but I did have that oatmeal at breakfast.  Also, I did not eat all the (sweet) sauce on my Panda Express entrees.

Food Diary

P.S.  My body did NOT like Panda Express.  Won't do that again.

Crises Averted

Today I wanted pasta for lunch.  Or thai noodles.  Or mexican take out.  I stood in my kitchen with a package of high fiber spaghetti noodles in my hand and an open jar of marinara in my fridge, as well as some Italian chicken sausage, but after reading that an 8th of the package contained 35 carbs and only 3 grams of fiber, I put it back in the bottom of the drawer and ate leftover chicken stew with cauliflower mash.  I didn't particularly enjoy lunch, but I averted a carbohydrate crises and feel stronger for it.  To satisfy my "I didn't eat anything I really liked" pity party, I made some hot cocoa with unsweetened almond milk, unsweetened cocoa powder, vanilla, and about a teaspoon of xylitol.  I'm sipping it now and am satisfied. 

It turns out that the happy feeling I get from eating bread, potatoes, pasta, pizza, and such is not all in my head.  It's physiological.  Eating simple carbs releases dopamine to the brain, as well as a host of other things, all of which create a pleasant feeling.  No wonder so many over-worked, stressed out, lonely, sad, broke Americans are overweight.  We eat to feel good.  And then we do it again.  And again.  And again. 

I am learning to accept that food should not make me happy.  That the once in a while treat while out with friends/family is all well and good, but day to day, my goal should be to eat for my health.  That doesn't mean food can't taste good.  It does mean that I should always ask myself what food choices are best for my body.


Bread Makes you Fat



Random Image - Thought it was Funny

Year Two And Spinal Stenosis

I don't think anyone reads this blog, but for the record, I found out what was causing my butt pain.  Not sacrilliac dysfunction.  After 6 months on and off of physical therapy, I finally convinced my doctor to order an MRI.  The results were not good. 

I have spinal lumbar stenosis and a calcified synovial cyst in my right facet joint.  The cyst is contributing to the stenosis and likely the primary source of pain.  I was referred to a ortho surgeon who turned out to be a jackass.  He would not talk to me at all about my back.  Instead he told me to have gastric bypass surgery.  When I tried to discuss back symptoms, the cyst, how I might manage pain during and after weight loss, he said, "I'm not here to debate with you."

I am not having gastric bypass.  I need to lose 75 lbs.  Last year, I lost 25.  (I lost 40 then gained 15 back after I was sidelined from exercise.)  I have been refocused on my weight loss since January 1.  Although I have not weighed, I'm guessing I've lost about 5 or 6 pounds.  My goal is 2 lbs a week.  

Learning out I have stenosis (severe in L3/L4) and that I will either have to have back surgery or learn to manage the pain, whatever that means, was difficult news to process.  It made me feel, for the first time in my life, fragile. 

But after a couple of weeks, I began to feel strong again.  I got back to the gym and am riding the stationary bike and swimming for cardio.  For strength training, I take a TRX class or make up my own WOD, which usually consists of push ups, rows, squats, presses, and some core work.  I take short 20 minute walks nearly every day, as long as I am not in too much pain.  This is a hard way to go, as I am accustomed to vigorous, heart pounding, sweat inducing exercise.  But this is my world for now.  I have to lose the weight. 

I have an appointment with another ortho surgeon next Friday.  Hopefully he will have a better bedside manner than the last and will discuss what to do with the cyst.  I'm hoping I won't get the gastric bypass lecture from him. 

Day 304 - Quiche

In an effort to break away from cooking/baking boredom, I made quiche on Saturday.  Sure, it's rich, but if I couple it with a salad, is it all that bad?  Well, apparantly it is all....that....bad. 

After eating a slice, I decided to calculate the calorie count of 1/4 of the quiche.  Now keep in mind that it's a 8.5 inch tart, not a pie, and there isn't a whole lot of filling, so 1/4 slice is a moderate size.  Certainly not large by any means. 

Unfortunately moderate in size doesn't mean moderate in calories.  I calculated that one slice of bacon arugula quiche has a whopping 750 calories.  Who knew?

What I don't understand is that I am hungry 3 or 4 hours after eating a slice.  I had a 1/6 slice for breakfast, which I calculate to be about 500 calories, as well as an orange, and I'm already hungry.  It's only been two hours!

What's up with that?  Is it possible that I overcalculated the calories?

Nevertheless, I will not be making quiche again.  I'll stick to milk-based crustless but still good fritatta. 

On a positive note, the only sugar I had yesterday was a couple of bites of chocolate.  I did well overall, taking in about 1800 calories.  Still need to drink more water. 

Day 303 - 9 Weeks Left

There are 9 weeks left in 2011.  With the exception of Thanksgiving Day and Christmas festivities, I plan to make the best out of the 9 weeks remaining.  I have been whining and complaining about my hip pain for 6 months now.  As a result of this whining, I have gained 10 pounds.  I should be ashamed. 

I AM ashamed. 

Bottom line is that I can still lose weight with an injury.  My exercise may be limited, but my dieting is not.  If I eat healthy, low carbohydrate meals, avoid sugar, and drink lots of water each and every day, I will lose weight.

I recorded my food intake yesterday.  Of course I had all the best intentions, but in the end, I gave in to temptation....again.   I'm estimating my total caloric intake was 1800-1900, but that included cheetos, mini chocolates, a few candy dots, and vanilla ice cream.  I took a 30 minute TRX class, walked for 20, and swam laps for 25 minutes, so I don't think I gained, but I certainly didn't lose. 

This morning I threw away the bag of cheetos.  Why was that so hard?  I like cheetos at first, like any other junk food.  They taste good.  But then, all I taste is salt.  Even as I am eating them, I am thinking about how they don't taste good anymore.  It's as if I keep eating them in an effort to get back that initial "yum."  But it never happens.  I finally stop, and then I feel guilty.  After that, the thirst kicks in from all that salt.  I don't want to even think about the fat.

If I lose 2 lbs a week for the next 9 weeks, minus 2 pounds for the holidays, then that's a total loss of 16 lbs by January 1, 2012.  Considering the 10 I've regained, that would put me at 46 lb lost for the year.

Not my best year ever, but 46, or even 36, is better than nothing.   

The Anti-Christ

Day 290 - Ugh

I have been avoiding my blog.  I did so well for the first 5 months of the year, but the last 3 or 4 have been bleak.  I've re-gained some of the 40 lbs I lost.  Not sure how many, but I'm guessing between 5-10.

That said, I want to be losing again.  I want to feel energetic and light.  I want to avoid simple, refined carbohydrates and all white foods.  I want to go to bed knowing I had a healthy day of eating and exercising and look forward to the same thing the next day.  But the reality is, I am in pain.  Not all the time.  Not when I'm sitting at my desk, but when I'm up and about, pain is constant.  Most of the time it's a general ache in my hip that reminds me to sit down every once in a while and recover.  But when I'm walking or exercising, the pain wears me out.  Reminds me that I have an injury that is holding me back. 

I am bored with  my exercise and the limitiations of my injury.  I feel  a little defeated.  I am disappointed in myself for falling of the wagon with my diet.  Just because I can't workout like I used to, doesn't mean I can't eat for weight loss. 

So here I am again on day 290.  I will not get fit this year, but I will be fitter at the start of 2012 than I was at the start of 2011.  And I will weigh less.  I guess that's what matters. 

I have approximately 10 weeks left in the year.  That's enough time to lose 10-20 lbs. 

I am tired already.

Day What?

I've lost count of the days.  The past two months have not been good, at least not on the fitness/weight loss front.  I have backed way off the exercise in a attempt to heal my sacroilliac dysfunction.  But I have now come to the conclusion that the dysfunction is really only made worse by bad form, wrong type of core work, boxing, and walking.  So I've started to ramp up the exercise again.  Still limited by what I can do, but there's enough of what I can do to keep it interesting....I hope. 

I haven't lost any weight since June.  That's okay.  It is what it is.  I may have gained a couple of pounds, but I don't think so.  Afterall, it's not like I stopped exercising altogether.  I would guess that on average I've been putting in 2-3 hours a week of exercise (swimming, strength training, short walks, physical therapy, biking). 

My sugar habit has been re-established, which is a drag.  Breaking the refined carb and sugar habit is not easy.  I have to do it again.  Not looking foward to the three days of withdrawals. 

Day 219 - Back on Track

My sacroilliac dysfunction is getting better, albeit very slowly.  I cleaned house for a couple of hours Friday morning, did my physical therapy exercises, went for a 30min swim, and felt fine all day.  Yesterday I worked out for over an hour, and I didn't hurt last night.  So things are looking up. 

It's been difficult not being able to exercise as much as I had been since the first of the year.  Consequently my diet suffered.  I have eaten sweets almost daily.  I'm hoping I've maintained my weight loss, but it's possible I've gained a couple of pounds back. 

I think I can increase my exercise up to 6 hours a week for this month.  I'm still limited by what I can do.

Going to Vegas in 4 weeks, and am hoping I'll be okay being on my feet and walking for a hour or two at a time.  If not, we'll be taking sit breaks....at the video poker machines. 

Day 203 - Physical Therapy

I have been ordered by my doctor/physical therapist to take a week off.  No biking.  No swimming.  No strength training.  He has given me a dozen or so exercises for isolating and stretching my sacroilliac joint and instructed me to do them at least once a day every day.  So far I'm on track for every other day. 

I am dying for a swim.  It has been hot hot hot, and I miss the cool respite of the pool.  I might break the rules tomorrow and do some laps. 

My hip hurts.  The pain has spread out, and now it hurts even while sitting.  I guess this is a good thing, but I'm not sure.  It hurts more after the physical therapy exercises, and the next day, the pain radiates out from the joint. 

I am concerned that I will never be pain free again.  That this hip pain will derail my weight loss and fitness efforts.  I am trying to stay positive, but it is difficult. 

Day 195 - Sacroilliac (Pain in the Butt)

After months of pain, 3 trips to the chiropractor, 4 massages, and lots of biking and swimming, I finally have a correct diagnosis.  I have sacroilliac joint pain caused, apparantly, from poor posture, quadricep dominance, and I don't really know what else.  Important thing is now I know what is going on and have a plan for fixing it. 

I met with a chiropractor at the swim and tennis club yesterday.  He spent well over an hour poking, prodding, stretching, and bending me until my sacroilliac had been moved in every direction possible.  Today I am sore.  But it's a good sore.  It's a pain before healing sort of sore.  I left with about half a dozen stretching exercises and an appointment for next Monday.  He wants me to limit myself to biking and swimming this week (as usual) and then next week we'll start working in some controlled strength training moves.  The stretches he gave me work both the sacroilliac and my core, particularly my lower abs. 

So I don't have sciatica after all.  Guess that's a good thing. 

Day 194 - Better

I have considered deleting yesterday's post, or at least editing out some of the melancholy, but no one reads this blog anyway, so might as well leave it in.  It is how I felt yesterday.  Today I am better.

Concerned by my lack of interest in cooking and other things, I forced myself to make a healthy dinner last night - stir fry beef with lots of veggies and a small amount of wild rice mix.  This morning I made veggie strata that I will cook tonight for dinner.  I made chili chicken soup earlier in the week, so leftovers of these three dishes will feed me for the rest of the week.  I won't have to do much more than cut up fruit and wash dishes.

Is it middle age that is keeping my waist larger than usual?  I have lost more inches in my hips, legs, arms, and torso, but my waist is still bigger than my "normal" porportions.  I can only hope that with continued weight loss, it will eventually shrink to a more regular measurement.  My waist is still 7 inches smaller than my hips, so I guess that's good.

Day 193 - Unmotivated

I'm feeling unmotivated.  I've accomplished a lot.  I know that.  I am still exercising 6 days a week, for the most part, and enjoying it.  Exercise is not my problem (except for pain limitations and coinciding boring routine), food is. 

I don't want to cook anything.  It used to be that when I thought about cooking dinner, I got energized.  I liked the idea of making healthy meals.  But now?  I don't know.  I'm finding it difficult to muster enthusiasm.  I still cook most of my meals, but I also often scrounge a meal.  Some fruit, a piece of cheese, a few bites of leftovers, a slice of ham.  I am not committed to making an entire meal. 

Maybe I'm depressed.  I am sad these days, but I didn't think it was affecting my eating patterns.  But now that I think about it, maybe it is.  I feel lost.  As if time is passing by without me.  I'm that blurry figure in the movies that is standing still while everything and everyone else whizzes by.

I've lost 40 pounds.  It's a good start.  My body looks better.  Clothes fit better.  But psychologically I have not adjusted to the weight loss.  My fat girl mentality persists. 

Day 182 - Six Months Done and Biking Boredom

I've been at this for 6 months.  Sheesh.  Seems like I should be smaller by now.  At a rate of 2lb/week, I should have lost 52 lbs.  I don't know how much I have lost, but I know it isn't 52.  Judging by the fit of my clothes, I'm guessing that I have lost between 35 and 40 pounds.  At this rate, I will not make 100 by the end of the year, but I will make 70 or 80.  And you know what?  That's okay.   I may not be the size I was hoping to be 6 months into this journey, but I am stronger, and I feel better about my body.

My hip/sciatica has improved a little.  I was beginning to think I would need an MRI, but now I am encouraged. 

There are two stationary bikes in the swim and tennis club.  One is a recline, and the other a regular sit-up-straight sort of bike.  I don't use the recline.  Unfortunately the other stationary bike, the one that I use, is the only peice of equipment in the gym with the exception of two weight machines, that faces the wall.  A few days ago I realized that part of my dread of biking at the club and 4-8 weeks of healing stem from looking at that wall.  There's a heart rate poster on the wall directly in front of the bike, and I have it memorized.  Tell me your age, and I'll tell you your target heart rate for weight loss, aerobic fitness, and anaerobic output. 

Finally I got smart and asked the club manager if she would consider moving the bikes to another location in the gym so that they faced both outside and the TV.  I showed her where they could fit if another weight machine was exchanged in their place.  She was in complete agreement, so I am hoping that when I go in today, the bike will have been moved.  I am not optimistic.

Day 176 - Pain

I am in pain.  It's not a good pain.  It's sciatica, and it has gotten worse.  I can't walk or stand more than 5 or 10 minutes at a stretch without needing to sit down for a minute. 

I googled exercises that I should avoid when suffering from sciatica and discovered many of the exercises I have been doing are on the "do not do" list.  This includes squats, lunges, crunches of any kind, running, and any sort of strength training where the lower back is engaged either actively or as support.  Also on the list are deadlifts, which I have not been doing.  At least I got one thing right.

To heal, I figure I need to reduce and limit my activity for about 4 weeks.  Hopefully not longer, but I'm not too optimistic as this juncture.  In the past 4 days, I have taken two rest days and have swam the other two.  That's it.  No walking, no lifting, no biking.  And the outcome?  I'm still in pain.  Lots of it. 

What can I do?  I can swim.  I can do some strength training as long as it doesn't put stress on my lower back.  I can bike.  And when things start to improve, I can begin incorporating walking back into my routine, starting with short walks around the neighborhood and stopping before the pain really sets in. 

I am frustrating by this pain.  It makes me tired.  I feel derailed and a little defeated.  I know that I can still lose weight, but I will have to watch what and how much I eat more carefully.  I can still exercise, but not nearly as much and without the variety that I need to stay motivated. 

This will be a difficult 4 weeks. 



My pain is concentrated right at the nerve.



Day 161 - Office CHeats

I did well five days in a row this week.  Right up until I went to the office.  I didn't eat sweets, which is a good thing, but I did eat bread and potatoes one night for dinner, and the next day, I ate potatoes at lunch and carb heavy mexican food for dinner.  Started this morning out with a bagel and a donut.  Ugh.  What was that about?

Next week will be a challenge, as I will be up in the office for 4 days.  I'll make a couple of meal over the weekend that I can freeze and take up with me.  That should help me avoid temptation.  I'll need to pick up some paleo snacks from Trader Joes as well. 

Finding myself doubting my weight loss.  I have to take a look in the full body mirror to convince myself that I have actually lost 35 lbs.  I guess I figured I would be in a smaller size by now.  Guess it doesn't really matter.  I wear the same t-shirts, yoga pants, and hoodies that I wore at my heaviest, so sometimes it's easy to forget that I have lost weight.  Because the yoga pants and hoodies both have stretch, it's difficult to tell that they fit looser.  But they do.  Some of my workout t-shirts have gotten too big.  So there is progress. 

Concerned about my sciatica and the triathlon sprint in October.  Will I be able to do it?