Day 203 - Physical Therapy

I have been ordered by my doctor/physical therapist to take a week off.  No biking.  No swimming.  No strength training.  He has given me a dozen or so exercises for isolating and stretching my sacroilliac joint and instructed me to do them at least once a day every day.  So far I'm on track for every other day. 

I am dying for a swim.  It has been hot hot hot, and I miss the cool respite of the pool.  I might break the rules tomorrow and do some laps. 

My hip hurts.  The pain has spread out, and now it hurts even while sitting.  I guess this is a good thing, but I'm not sure.  It hurts more after the physical therapy exercises, and the next day, the pain radiates out from the joint. 

I am concerned that I will never be pain free again.  That this hip pain will derail my weight loss and fitness efforts.  I am trying to stay positive, but it is difficult. 

Day 195 - Sacroilliac (Pain in the Butt)

After months of pain, 3 trips to the chiropractor, 4 massages, and lots of biking and swimming, I finally have a correct diagnosis.  I have sacroilliac joint pain caused, apparantly, from poor posture, quadricep dominance, and I don't really know what else.  Important thing is now I know what is going on and have a plan for fixing it. 

I met with a chiropractor at the swim and tennis club yesterday.  He spent well over an hour poking, prodding, stretching, and bending me until my sacroilliac had been moved in every direction possible.  Today I am sore.  But it's a good sore.  It's a pain before healing sort of sore.  I left with about half a dozen stretching exercises and an appointment for next Monday.  He wants me to limit myself to biking and swimming this week (as usual) and then next week we'll start working in some controlled strength training moves.  The stretches he gave me work both the sacroilliac and my core, particularly my lower abs. 

So I don't have sciatica after all.  Guess that's a good thing. 

Day 194 - Better

I have considered deleting yesterday's post, or at least editing out some of the melancholy, but no one reads this blog anyway, so might as well leave it in.  It is how I felt yesterday.  Today I am better.

Concerned by my lack of interest in cooking and other things, I forced myself to make a healthy dinner last night - stir fry beef with lots of veggies and a small amount of wild rice mix.  This morning I made veggie strata that I will cook tonight for dinner.  I made chili chicken soup earlier in the week, so leftovers of these three dishes will feed me for the rest of the week.  I won't have to do much more than cut up fruit and wash dishes.

Is it middle age that is keeping my waist larger than usual?  I have lost more inches in my hips, legs, arms, and torso, but my waist is still bigger than my "normal" porportions.  I can only hope that with continued weight loss, it will eventually shrink to a more regular measurement.  My waist is still 7 inches smaller than my hips, so I guess that's good.

Day 193 - Unmotivated

I'm feeling unmotivated.  I've accomplished a lot.  I know that.  I am still exercising 6 days a week, for the most part, and enjoying it.  Exercise is not my problem (except for pain limitations and coinciding boring routine), food is. 

I don't want to cook anything.  It used to be that when I thought about cooking dinner, I got energized.  I liked the idea of making healthy meals.  But now?  I don't know.  I'm finding it difficult to muster enthusiasm.  I still cook most of my meals, but I also often scrounge a meal.  Some fruit, a piece of cheese, a few bites of leftovers, a slice of ham.  I am not committed to making an entire meal. 

Maybe I'm depressed.  I am sad these days, but I didn't think it was affecting my eating patterns.  But now that I think about it, maybe it is.  I feel lost.  As if time is passing by without me.  I'm that blurry figure in the movies that is standing still while everything and everyone else whizzes by.

I've lost 40 pounds.  It's a good start.  My body looks better.  Clothes fit better.  But psychologically I have not adjusted to the weight loss.  My fat girl mentality persists. 

Day 182 - Six Months Done and Biking Boredom

I've been at this for 6 months.  Sheesh.  Seems like I should be smaller by now.  At a rate of 2lb/week, I should have lost 52 lbs.  I don't know how much I have lost, but I know it isn't 52.  Judging by the fit of my clothes, I'm guessing that I have lost between 35 and 40 pounds.  At this rate, I will not make 100 by the end of the year, but I will make 70 or 80.  And you know what?  That's okay.   I may not be the size I was hoping to be 6 months into this journey, but I am stronger, and I feel better about my body.

My hip/sciatica has improved a little.  I was beginning to think I would need an MRI, but now I am encouraged. 

There are two stationary bikes in the swim and tennis club.  One is a recline, and the other a regular sit-up-straight sort of bike.  I don't use the recline.  Unfortunately the other stationary bike, the one that I use, is the only peice of equipment in the gym with the exception of two weight machines, that faces the wall.  A few days ago I realized that part of my dread of biking at the club and 4-8 weeks of healing stem from looking at that wall.  There's a heart rate poster on the wall directly in front of the bike, and I have it memorized.  Tell me your age, and I'll tell you your target heart rate for weight loss, aerobic fitness, and anaerobic output. 

Finally I got smart and asked the club manager if she would consider moving the bikes to another location in the gym so that they faced both outside and the TV.  I showed her where they could fit if another weight machine was exchanged in their place.  She was in complete agreement, so I am hoping that when I go in today, the bike will have been moved.  I am not optimistic.